Well, in my second decade as a professional writer, I am becoming very well acquainted with rejection.
The other day I was pondering one of my latest rejections, in which an editor said some of the elements of my book felt "too familiar." My initial reaction was, "the fuck are you talking about? The shelves at bookstores are groaning with familiar!" Seriously--take a stroll through the YA section in any bookstore and check out how publishers go out of their way to ape the titles that have already been successful.
I had a similar moment when my middle grade adventure novel was rejected by an editor for having too much adventure. She wished I had written a book about two girls getting to know each other in middle school rather than a book about two girls getting to know each other in a nonstop rollicking adventure where they save their town from the machinations of an evil ape.
That's a bit like saying, "this coffee is okay, but I really wanted it to be hot chocolate."
So: the reasons I've been rejected are bullshit.
But, fellow writers, it isn't just me! Your rejections are also bullshit! You can tell because they're contradictory: "too much like other books on our list" is followed directly by, "we don't see a market for this kind of thing."
"I couldn't connect with the characters," says one editor. "I loved the characters but the plot just never came together for me," says another.
Here is what it all means: I didn't love your book.
That's all. They can give you reasons why they didn't love it, but the reasons don't matter. Because love is irrational. And, I mean, fair enough, right? Do you love every book you read? If your job were championing books, would you champion one you didn't love if you didn't have to? Of course not.
I would say this: if you're getting the same feedback from everybody, you might want to look at that element and revise it. But if you're getting wildly contradictory and/or nonsensical reasons for your rejections, that's good! That doesn't mean your book sucks! It means that the ten, or twelve, or however many people you've sent it to don't love it. And no book is going to be loved by everyone.
Of course the business of publishing is incredibly frustrating. Because if you like your book, I guarantee someone else will too. Probably a lot of people. Even if it's only 0.01% of people who will like your book, in a country of 350 million people, that's an ass ton of readers. But it's really hard to find those people and get your book into their hands. This is true even if you do get your book published.
(Example: my profane, snarky memoir of my sucky experience during my late wife's cancer treatment is definitely not for everybody. But it's probably for more than 6,000 people, which is about how many people have bought it.) (You can pick up the ebook or the audiobook, and if you like swearing and music, you'll probably be glad you did)
Rejection sucks. Take it from somebody who has been rejected a lot in the last five years. But it doesn't mean your book isn't good or you aren't a good writer. It just means the right people don't love your book. Yet. Maybe someone else will. Or maybe they'll love the next one.