Girl in a Cage

Can Social Media Sell Books?

The interwebs are crawling with people telling you you have to get into social media to sell books. Some offer this advice for free, while many others will offer you a conference, webinar (whatever the hell that is), seminar, or even a book telling you how to leverage your web presence or something.

There's enough of these folks around that I think it's safe to say that social media--or, rather, the feeling that many of us over the age of 30 have that we really should be up on such things--sells books about how to sell using social media.  But can it sell anything else? 

My experience is kind of a mix. Here are the things I've used, and yes, I know they're not all web 2.0 or 2.1 or whatever the hell stupid name we have for these things.

email:  Without question the most effective thing I've used.  I regularly send emails to friends, family, and people who have reached out to me about my books. This reminds them I'm alive and definitely leads to book sales.  Seems key.

blogging: I love this blog because it gives me a space to sound off on whatever crackpot opinions I have at the time.  But because it's kind of wide-ranging (whatever the hell is on my mind) and not focused on any specific area, I haven't been able to build a huge readership of sycophants who will praise even my most mediocre work to the skies and the entire internet.  (Yes, I'm looking at boingboing.)  It's a nice way to keep in touch with fans and friends, but I don't think the blog has won me any new fans.

mog.com and other special interest sites:  I joined mog.com at the urging of one of my friends who was a fellow music geek, and the music geekery was awesome.  This is the only social networking site where I really felt part of a community and like I made new friends.  In fact, I was so engaged over there that when I returned to full-time teaching, I couldn't keep it up--it seemed like it was a kind of all or nothing deal.  I also gave away some paperbacks of Long Way Back, figuring music geeks would dig it, and, for the most part, they did.  But, as we saw yesterday, that book didn't sell for shit.  So I think we can look at this as a big success personally, a professional success in that I got to get some free music and write record reviews, which I really enjoyed, but not a way to sell books. 

goodreads.com, shelfari.com, librarything.com.  I couldn't keep up with all three.  I like the look of Shelfari the best, but goodreads.com had way more reviews and ratings of my books, so I threw my lot in with them.  I like the email updates I get, and it's a decent way to find out about books.  I've been somewhat shy (yes, even faceless on the internet, I'm shy) about jumping into conversations here, so I suspect I may not be using it as well as I could.  Also there's the problem that a lot of the stuff I read (horror, urban fantasy, etc.) is not like the stuff I write (bittersweet dramadies.).  So I don't know if this one works or not.  I've been trying to friend more people who liked my books in hopes of engaging them to read more, etc.  We'll see.

myspace.com.  Say what you will about myspace--I actually kind of like the crass, tacky, freewheeling aspect of it.  It's kind of like facebook's tacky cousin who shows up drunk and underdressed at a family party.  So there's an energy there that I like.  I also like the relative anonymity.  Unlike facebook, myspace allows a certain amount of distance between your online self and your real self, so readers, especially teen readers, seem more comfortable reaching out to me on myspace than facebook.  As I said yesterday, though, friending people who like similar stuff was a huge fail.

facebook.com. Awesome in that it has allowed me to reconnect with many many people I had lost touch with--people I was in plays with in high school, former students, former co-workers, stuff like that. I feel like for any writer, these people should really be your base, and many of them weren't even aware I was a writer till we found each other on facebook.  I created fan pages for my novels and have yet to see a lot of interest there.  I think the whole pages thing is still not on most people's radar.  And then when you do sign up to be a fan of something, that's kind of the end of it. I don't get updates, for example, from the Sriracha page, where I am a fan of the king of all hot sauces.  So until I and facebook figure out how to make better commercial use of it, it's mostly useful for energizing your base, as the politicians say.

twitter.com.  I'm still relatively new to this, but I do like it.  Again, I enjoy the ability to sound off on random opinions, especially ones that don't merit an entire blog entry. (like "Rod Stewart ruined the Small Faces.").  I seem to be connecting with a lot of people in books and publishing, which could only be good.  I also like the fact that I can sync my updates to my facebook status, thus starting conversations in two places.  (Well, the conversation part mostly takes place on facebook.   I'm a little light on the @replies part, and I often don't see them--I think I probably need one of those applications that helps you manage twitter a little better.)

conclusions:  So far, this stuff has been important to me in terms of staying connected with people who already like my work, and allowing people to reach out to me easily.  Is it winning me any new fans, though?  Thus far, I don't think so, but I guess the jury is still out.  I do really enjoy it all on a personal level, though.  I guess I wish I knew what to do to make any of these sites an effective way to find the fans I don't have yet.  People I'm convinced would like my work if only they knew it was there.  Hmmm..maybe somebody's offering a webinar I could take....

How To Sell Books

So I got no  love from the American Library Association.  I'm not going to pretend I'm not bitter.  Because I am. 86 books made their Best Books For Young Adults 2009 list, and Forever Changes was not among them. 

Of course few people look at a list that long, but still, it does burn not to be included.  I'm sure that inclusion on the list doesn't actually help sales all that much. It's just one more way for people to find out about my book. 

 

Forever Changes is not being stocked in the chains.  It's gotten some really nice reviews on blogs, and a few readers have reached out to me with very nice and touching emails, but the bottom line is that most people-- even people who read books and presumably would like mine if they picked them up-- don't even know my books exist. 

Clearly nobody  knows how to sell books, or half the publishing industry wouldn't be getting laid off, but everybody's got advice about how to sell books, most of which is bullshit (see dropping sales, layoffs, etc.) .  Here's my experience, book by book.

It Takes a Worried Man: 

How We Tried To Sell It:
Most authors complain about not getting much publicity. This book got an avalanche of good publicity:  Today Show, Rosie O'Donnell show, All Things Considered, plus articles in Ladies Home Journal and Rosie magazine.  Plus a rave review in People magazine.  Also many radio interviews in the UK.

The Result:
Dismal sales in the US. Even more dismal sales in the UK and Germany.

My Conclusion:
All the publicity in the world can't help if it's targeted wrong.  I was portrayed as a kind of everyman cancer spouse, and so people looking for that kind of book would be alarmed by my anger, snarkiness, and stubborn refusal to find cancer inspiring. People looking for snark didn't see me as hip or edgy, but rather as a dork who got published in Ladies Home Journal and hobnobbed with Al Roker.  (nice guy, by the way.  Also Matt Lauer told dirty jokes on the set.)   My editor at the time told me I was a writer and not just a guy who'd had an experience. I believed her and kept writing, but the rest of the world saw me at the time as Cancer Spouse who wrote a book, rather than as a new writer on the scene. 

Losing My Faculties

How We Tried To Sell It:
Excerpted in the Boston Globe magazine.  I was on the cover of Teacher magazine!  Also, I did a couple of radio interviews. And Janet Maslin gave it a good review in the New York Times.

The Result:
Disappointing sales, but better than ITAWM.  Also, this one I think is what you call a "long tail" book.  It continues to sell year after year--there are always new teachers, and if the book hasn't become the education classic I'd hoped, it has stayed in print and remains the book of mine that's easiest to find.

My Conclusion:
This was marketed pretty well to a certain niche and did okay within that niche.  I would have liked it to break out of the niche, but if it keeps on selling a few hundred copies a year, it may eventually earn out its advance!

Donorboy

How We Tried To Sell It:
Villard cut a deal with the chains.  In exchange for putting this out as a paperback original (the chains wish every book was a paperback because nobody buys hardbacks except at a deep discount, so hardbacks are kind of a loss leader--also they're heavier and take up more space. ), we got front table space for free.  This is space that publishers usually have to pay for. Also I did a 3-city author tour. Positive review in People Magazine. Received Alex Award and a spot on the Best Books For Young Adults List from the ALA, before they lost all critical judgment. (Well, not all critical judgment. I'm glad Gaiman got the Newbery.  That book is fantastic.)

The Result: 
It's certainly far from a best seller, but it is my best seller ever.  Still not exactly what the publishing industry considers respectable,(I read 20k copies somewhere as the "respectibility" figure, but I don't have this from anybody in publishing.)  but something I probably could have built on.

My Conclusion:
I had a wonderful time on my author tour--I stayed in nice hotels and read to intimate crowds comprised entirely of my family and friends.  In two bookstores, the staff made no pretense of attending or caring. A fantastic time for me personally; professionally, I think it was a waste of time and (somebody else's!) money. 

I have it on good authority, i.e., from authors who've made the stupid hateful BBYA list more than once, that it doesn't impact sales all that much, so I think I'm going to have to point to front table in the chains as the thing that made this one sell.

Long Way Back:

How we tried to sell it:
As near as I can tell, we didn't.

The Result:
Nobody bought it.  I joke to my email list that they are the only ones buying my books, ha-ha, but in the case of this book I think that might literally be true. 

My Conclusion:
Simply putting a book out and hoping somebody notices is a pretty crappy strategy. 

Dear Catastrophe Waitress:

How We Tried To Sell It:
See above.  I was assigned to a publicist who informed me at length that she had worked on Curtis Sittenfeld's bestseller Prep.  She then ignored all my promotional ideas and stopped returning my emails.  I guess she was busy with Curtis Sittenfeld.  (Ms. Sittenfeld, against whom I bear no grudge other than professional jealousy, went to my high school, though I should point out that she graduated from another school, so this one particularly stings.)

It was released as a paperback original, since dismal sales of Long Way Back hardcover pretty much guaranteed the chains wouldn't stock another hardcover from me.  So it was stocked in the chains, though not always on the front table.  It was around this time that I started blogging and joined myspace, spam-friending hundreds of people who said they liked Nick Hornby, the writer to whom I'm most frequently compared.  (as in, "He's like Nick Hornby, in that music is usually important in his books, but unlike Nick Hornby in that you've never heard of him.")

The Result:
Sold way more than Long Way Back, but less than Donorboy, and still far south of respectability.

My Conclusion: People will take a chance on a paperback.  Also, friending random people on social networking sites isn't a great way to sell books.

How Ya Like Me Now

How We Tried To Sell It:
See "put it out and hope someone notices," above. Though I was more active on social networking sites, I didn't feel like I could reach out directly to teen readers without appearing creepy, so I didn't. Since I'm now a sales dog in the eyes of the chains, the hardcover is not stocked at all.  Also, the recto-cranial inversion of the BBYA committee has begun, and it doesn't make the list.

The Result:
Weak sales, but still better than Long Way Back. Still, weak sales of the harcover put the very existence of a paperback into question. 

My Conclusion:
Word of mouth, blog, and email, particularly among the wonderful majority of YA librarians who do not sit on the committee with the ignoramuses who picked this year's BBYA list, actually does move books.  Sales started out embarrassing and got steadily better.  The fact that the book is about boys in an urban school and is not about shootings does seem to set it apart and create a niche.  Whether it's a long tail niche like Losing My Faculties or not remains to be seen.

Forever Changes

How We're Trying To Sell It: See "put it out and hope someone notices." Still unavailable in the chains.  Makes the Indie Next list, (nee the Booksense 76) thereby getting love from the indie booksellers.  Also, I'm deep into the online social networking thing.  More thoughts on that in my next entry.

The Result:  No idea. Won't see a sales statement for at least three more months. 

My Conclusion:

I think you need three things for your book to succeed:

1.) It has to not completely suck.  You can have shit characters and dialogue if you have a fast-moving plot.  Or you can have no plot at all if you have intriguing characters.  Or, if you write beautiful sentences, you can be weak in the plot area.  In any case, there has to be something good about the book. I've got this one covered.

2.) It's got to appeal to some kind of dedicated niche audience.  It may move beyond that, but it's got to have a solid core appeal.   My core of fans is dedicated but really quite small.

3.)People have to hear about it somehow. This is where I usually fall down.

4.) It has to be available in the chains on the front table.  O, beloved indie bookstores, how I wish this weren't true, but it just seems to be the case. My only book that really sold was a front-table book.

5.) It has to hit some kind of magical zeitgeist moment.  So yeah, the cancer book that came out 6 months after 9/11 might have missed the moment a little bit. 

WILD CARD!: somebody can make a movie of your book.  Right now there's a fine script, actors, and director attached to Long Way Back.  If they can get some money, they'll make a movie, and then people may  hear of me, I may get stocked in the chains, etc.

Next time: I'm working the social networking thing hard, with mixed results.  My reviews of various sites and strategies next.

Movie Roundup

We recently rejoined Netflix.  There were two reasons for this:  1.) Now that I have a real job, I pass a mailbox on my way in to work every day. This makes it much easier to remember to return the movies.  (yes, we are that lame. We stopped before because we just couldn't get them returned.  I know.).  2.)Dish Network pay per view completly sucks.  When the kids like a movie, they often like to revisit their favorite parts for a few days.  Dish Network pay per view movies now get locked and inaccessible on the DVR after a few days.  I can't stress enough how much this blows.  I understand that the studios are making them do this, and it just seems like one more example of short term dumb thinking on the part of the content purveyors.  My hard drive space is limited, so I'm not keeping the damn thing forever, okay?  I don't know how to transfer it to my computer or share it.  So what's the harm?  It frosts me, I tellya.  So, anyway, here's what we've seen so far.

Clue:  Held up way better than I thought it would.  Saw it when it came out and actually found it funnier and more enjoyable now.  (Fog of nostalgia, or increased affection for Tim Curry?  Hard to say.)  One child is violence-averse, and this was actually too bloody for that one despite the PG rating.  I liked it, though.

Airplane:  What can I say.  Still funny, especially when you haven't seen it for a few years.  Guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue...

The Taking of Pelham 123.  Loved, loved, loved this movie.  It is a cool caper movie (Inside Man owes it a huge huge debt) and also just a fantastic time capsule view of the gritty side of the 70's.  I totally believe that the NYC subway system was run by guys like Walter Matthau, Jerry Stiller, and Pat Hingle in the 70's.  Also fun to see a young Hector Elizondo.  

Hot Fuzz:  Also completely loved this movie.  Affectionate parody is hard to carry off, but this totally succeeds, much as Shaun of the Dead did, and for the same reasons:  it works  both as an example of this type of movie and as a parody of it.  The last 15 minutes are fantastically over the top. Gore factor was kind of high, which I enjoyed.  

More movies are in the mail as we speak.  I shall keep you updated.

The Fault Lies Not in Our Pop Stars...

So I read this article about how horrible Billy Joel is. 

I know, why not write an article about how blue the sky is.

Still, I had some issues with it.  First, he claims that "It's Still Rock and Roll to Me" is the worst Billy Joel song, when everybody knows "We Didn't Start the Fire" is the worst Billy Joel song.

Second, he seems to be asserting that there is some objective standard for artistic quality, and that Billy Joel is objectively bad.  This, of course, is horseshit.  If people are moved by art, then it's good--for them.  I do not particularly care for Mr. Joel's oevre, but, hey, if you're moved to tears by "Goodnight Saigon", well, who am I to tell you to go buy a Radiohead album instead?  (In fact, I wouldn't tell you to buy a Radiohead album, because, ugggh, the pretentious artiness, the self-indulgence, the noise for noise's sake-- but again, if you think In Rainbows is the shit, go ahead and listen up!)

I guess what bugs me about this article is that it feels fundamentally adolescent. Oh, how I used to feel that Journey was objectively bad, that I was sooooo much cooler than anybody who liked Journey.  I needed to get the hell over myself.  Lots of people dig Journey, and I'm not prepared to say that, for example, "New Day Rising" is better than "Don't Stop Believin'". 

Indeed, what people who argue for an objective measure of artistic quality never seem to mention is that sales might make a pretty decent objective measure.  By that measure, Billy Joel is probably way better than say, Lou Reed. 

What struck me most is that an article about how much you hate an artist ultimately says way more about you than it does about the artist in question. 

Pulp Fiction

Since there are a lot of old pulp novels and story collections in the public domain, I've downloaded a few and have been reading them on my phone. 

One is Robert Howard's The Sword of Solomon Kane, a collection of stories from the author of Conan about an asskicking puritan (oh yes, really) who roams the earth protecting the weak, finding secret passages, and dealing death to creatures both natural and supernatural.  Absolutely top notch action in every story. 

And, most of them include lots of racism.  Many of the stories take place in Africa, and while there's a bunch of "Dark Continent of Mystery and Wonder" stuff that is definitely dumb but not really hateful, there is also a lot of hateful description--"thick-lipped savage" and the like.  Uggh. 

Also currently reading Sax Rohmer's The Golden Scorpion.  Again, completely kick ass action and mystery that demands to be read at a fast clip and that is tinged--nay, suffused, with racism.  This time it's anti-Chinese, as China is the symbol of all things sinister and mysterious, and any association with the Chinese marks one as a criminal.  I read on Wikipedia that Rohmer was unapologetic about his depiction of "the yellow peril," saying "criminality was frequently rampant among the Chinese"   (probably true, but, I mean, it's pretty rampant among the Caucasian and pretty much everybody else in the world too, actually.)

The Howard stories are more complex--blackness doesn't always equal evil, and Kane has a black blood brother and risks his life to protect an African village.  Indeed, I got the sense in some stories that Kane was having experiences that tested his preconceptions, and the character of N'Longa, the aforementioned blood brother, is definitely good.  Which almost makes the "thick lipped savage" business worse.  At least Rohmer is just a straight up racist--Howard's ability to see complexities makes the racism that slips in that much more disappointing.

So it's not like these are great classic texts that demand to be read--they are decently-written thrillers (a pretty rare species), but I guess their racism may consign them to the dustbin of history.   Still, I can't help thinking more boys and men would read if there were more Thrilling Adventure Stories like this available.  Preferably ones that weren't horribly racist.

Iphone vs. Kindle: Battle of the e-readers!

It's now been a little over a year since I got my Kindle.  I've had the Stanza e-reader software for my iphone for a couple of months.  Time for a throwdown!

Kindle Pros                                                                   
Book-sized.  Can be read at home without feeling like a tool.

Screen is very easy on the eyes.

Buy books from Amazon wirelessly--think of a book, have it in less than a minute.

Read any ebook.

Battery life: amazing.  About a week's worth of reading on a single charge.

Iphone pros

Wireless downloads of public domain and/or free books.

I always have it on me anyway. 

Can be read one-handed while standing on the subway.

Can handle comics.  Haven't tried this yet, but there are comics available, and color screen makes it doable.  I recommend Atomic Robo--met the creators at Boston Comic-Con, and they were really nice people who were very nice to my son, so I think that's the one to buy.

Lit screen can be read without additional light.

Kindle Cons
An additional thing to remember to bring.

Nifty wireless purchasing capability getting steadily crappier as price of ebooks climbs.  Thought I might pick up the new techo-thriller Daemon, and they want 15 bucks for it!  What the hell are they smoking?  There's no actual book here, people--I'm not spending what I would spend for a paperback I could lend out and share and donate to my church's yard sale on a bunch of unsharable zeroes and ones.  It's as though the crackheads setting the prices are trying to sabotage ebook sales.  Moronic.

Can't really be read one-handed while standing.

Iphone Cons
Pretty small catalog.

Tiny screen. 

Can't really be curled up with in a comfy chair at home--feels okay for on-the-go reading, but otherwise, no.

Strangely, small screen makes me even less likely to shell out for content.  Not sure why, but there you go.

Conclusion:  I dunno.  I'm pretty frosted about the rise in ebook prices.  Of course, I can still download ebooks and USB connect 'em to the Kindle, but it bugs me.  I guess the iphone is better for reading on the go, while the Kindle is better for something you're going to read at home.

Publishers need to get behind this shit in a major way, though.  And set the prices reasonably.

Golden Handshake for Borders CEO; Golden Shower for Everyone Else

Those of you who don't follow publishing and bookselling as closely as I do (and, if you aren't an author, bookseller, librarian, or publisher, why would you?) may have missed this little nugget:  The CEO of Borders, that big bookselling chain tottering on the edge of financial ruin, gets to leave his job with 18 months salary and about 300k in bonuses.  This after layoffs, the aforementioned tottering, and, oh yeah, a lawsuit alleging that Borders intentionally over-ordered from small publishers so they could pad their accounts with extra returns.  (I could actually explain this, but you'd be snoozing.  The long and short of it is that it's a sleazy trick that could ruin a small publisher and probably wouldn't help a big one much either.) 

Pretty much the only way to sell books is to get front table placement at the chains, and publishers have to pay for that space.  So if you don't get front table, you have a hard time getting your next book stocked, because the last one didn't sell. 

Anyway, I could rant on, but you get the idea--this company has had authors and publishers by the balls, and they're going broke anyway, and the guy who, despite all these advantages, has led his company in the toilet, is getting a monster payday to go away. 

I'm pissed today because my editor at Villard--the guy who acquired Losing My Faculties, Donorboy, Long Way Back, Dear Catastrophe Waitress, and I Can See Clearly Now--just got laid off, and while I'm not privy to the details of his severance package, I can pretty much guarantee it wasn't as generous as the one the Borders guy got. 

It's a pretty crappy time across the board in publishing and bookselling, and I guess it just irks me to see the Borders CEO getting so much cash for sucking at his job, when so many people who don't suck at their jobs are not so lucky.

Harry In Racial Slur Flap!

With the roads covered in snow and ice, I'm too chicken (read: sane) to bike to work.  So I've been getting up early and hittin' the elliptical we bought back when we were still overspending.  (ahh, those were the days.  We're still paying for them, and will be for a long time, but it was fun while it lasted.) 

I turn on CNN because I can get most of what's going on without the volume up (I'm doing this early in the a.m. before anybody else is awake), and not just because Kiran Chetry is easy on the eyes, thank you very much, and yesterday there was this thing about how Harry, prince of somethingorother, was caught on tape with his army buddies calling people "Raghead" and "Paki." 

I have two reactions. 

One:  a member of the British nobility is racist?  Shocking!  Next you'll be telling me they're Protestants!  Or wealthy!

Two:  Whatever shock people are feigning over this incident is hypocritical.  This young man was in Afghanistan--not only should we not be surprised that he came out of this with racial slurs in his mouth. The nature of warfare demands it.  If you're going to kill, or injure, or bully someone, you have to dehumanize them with language.  Otherwise, you're doing something wrong.  Everyone knows it's wrong to kill a person.  But your enemies in war aren't people-- they're ragheads! (or nips, or krauts, or gooks, or whatever.) (or infidels, capitalist running dogs, great satans, etc.)  So pull the trigger! 

The creation of racist nicknames isn't a byproduct of warfare--it's a necessary precondition to getting young men to kill each other.  So even if Harry is a stupid twit (as the magic 8 ball would say, "all signs point to yes!"), he's doing what his job demands of him, and maybe we should look at the people asking him to do that job--that is to say, us--if we want it to stop.

Tell 'em How I Feel...

I'm sad about Ron Asheton being dead.  Of course I appreciate the fact that he and Iggy Pop kinda created punk rock. (Along with the MC5, and I would argue the Sonics as well...)  But what I really appreciate about Ron Asheton is that his guitar playing really spoke to me at a horrible time in my life.

Seven years ago, I was writing my first book, It Takes a Worried Man.  My first draft manuscript included a chapter on the Stooges song "No Fun."  The chapter was cut from the final version. It was a good edit--the chapter didn't add all that much to the book as a whole.

But it does show my appreciation for Ron Asheton, and it seems like an okay way to pay my respects. So here, from 2001, is the lost chapter of It Takes a Worried Man, entitled No Fun.

No Fun
    Well, man cannot live on bread alone, and, as it turns out, one kind of music can no longer sustain me.  The Carter Family takes a back seat for a while.  For several days I listen to Matthew Sweet's melancholy pop masterpiece 100% Fun, and then on one of my blank days, I find myself humming The Stooges' "No Fun," which I used to own but don't anymore, so I order the CD and then listen to it over and over and over again.
    If you need evidence that pop music and poetry are two totally different art forms, no matter what the Joni Mitchell fans say, this is the song that will convince you.  (And if it doesn't, please check out the recording of Jim Morrisson reading his own poetry over listless vamping by the living members of the Doors.  The guy wrote a couple of good pop songs, but as an American Poet, as the posters say, well, let's just say his "Lament for my cock" is not exactly "Song of Myself".)  The lyrics are pretty banal. "no fun, my babe, no fun.." etc. but this song is just one of the greatest things ever recorded.
    The song starts out with this crunchy, distorted guitar groove that repeats over and over and over while Iggy Pop moans about having no fun.  This would probably be good enough--the music is simple but really expressive and makes these simple (simple-minded?) lyrics seem to mean something, but my absolute favorite moment in the song comes about two thirds of the way through when Iggy goes, "I say come on Ron......I say come on Ronny....I say come on Ronny lemme...  lemme hear you tell em.....tell em how I...tell em how I... tell em how IIIIIIIIIIIIII  feeel.  Tell em how IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII feel.." and nothing is happening at the beginning of this, and you're going "who the hell is Ron" and then this guitar solo begins, but it's mostly feedback at the beginning and then goes into about five notes, and you look at your album cover or CD booklet and find that Ron Asheton was the Stooges guitarist, and he is there telling you how Iggy feels with his five-note solo, but of course he's really been telling you how Iggy feels through the whole song, because Iggy doesn't seem to have the words, but it doesn't matter.  By the end of the song Iggy is just shrieking.
    I obviously fancy myself to be pretty articulate, or I wouldn't be writing this, but much of my experience these days is contained in this song.  If you want to know how I feel,  Ron Asheton can tell you.

The Nelson Muntz, Part 1

Some situations just make you wish Nelson Muntz would come to life, strut up to someone, point his finger and say "Ha-ha!"

Today's candidate:  (and how I wish I had the energy to do this daily, but let's just say first in an occasional series)  http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/09/books/07book.html.  Take it away, Nelson: