The boy has been playing Star Wars: Battlefront and having a fine time of it, and I've blithely condemned the entire new Star Wars trilogy just because the first one totally sucked, so we decided to watch Episode 2: Attack of the Clones.
O, God, the tedium! The infernal tedium of it! I mean, yeah, the effects look cool, but good God, all this behind the scenes political maneuvering. So tedious! The dialogue: laughably bad! "Not so, my young padawan learner," Obi Wan said at the beginning, and you could actually see "I can't believe I said that. I'm a whore." flash across Ewan McGregor's mind as he said it. I was reminded of the old story about Harrison Ford on the set of the original Star Wars going, "You can write this shit, George, but you can't say it." They should have had Harrison Ford on retainer for this movie to call George Lucas daily and tell him that. Oy. The love story: both tedious and laughable! Since Lucas is way more interested in visual effects than human motivations, the fact that Padme or whatever the hell her name is falls in love with Annie is completely inexplicable. Annie is far younger, kind of dumb, impetuous, and prone to fits of homicidal rage! What's not to love?
Speaking of Annie, I gotta say that Hayden chick that plays her looks way better on Heroes. She almost looks like a guy in this movie!
(Rim shot! I'll be here all week! Tip your waitresses and bartenders!)
