So on Sirius 26, Left of Center, they've been playing what I think may be the worst song of all time. It's called "Monkey and Bear" by Joanna Newsom. It's like Bjork meets the Shaggs and Flaming Lips at Vic Chestnutt's house in Ireland. No, that makes it sound way more appealing than it actually is. She sings in a thin, tonally-challenged voice this singsongy quasi-Irish melody over and over and over--all verse, no chorus! While a harp is plucked and strings occasionally flourish in the background, but not really in a way that entirely matches up with the vocals. This goes on for NINE AND A HALF MINUTES. Whoa.
Mindful of how I hated "Batdance" the first time I heard it and then it grew on me like a fungus, I actually listened to this thing a second time today. It didn't grow on me, but it was a fear-factoresque torture test. I didn't turn it off because I wanted to see if I was tough enough to take it. By about minute six, I seriously felt as though it was a drill boring into the back of my skull. By minute nine, I was so nauseated I almost had to pull the car over. Finally, finally, it ended, and I emerged shaken, but possessed of a new faith in my inner strength. Really, I think instead of that high ropes course bullshit, they should just make people listen to this song to build their self-esteem.
