So after I recommended seeing Nanny McPhee to reward people making quality family movies, I went and spent money on what may well be the most cynical piece of crap I have ever seen: Dr. Doolittle 3. I mean, okay, I didn't have high hopes for this, but certain Nickelodeon-addled members of the family thought it might be enjoyable. O, it was painful. Just horribly painful. Can the ragtag band of misfits get together to save the farm? Will the fat guy, the nerd, and the tough girl (who's actually named "Brooklyn")manage to find inner strength to win the rodeo and save the farm? Will John Amos wish he had a bigger cut of the Good Times DVD sales so he wouldn't have to do crap like this? Everything in this movie was by-the-numbers, formulaic, and unfunny. And I rewarded the cynical hacks who made it by buying it. So you can blame the next one like this on me.
And, not to get all vegetarian here (I know I'm in danger of straying into The Land Of Annoying People occupied by prosthelitizing vegetarians, militant athiests, Ayn Rand cultists, and right-wing theocrats here, but just bear with me), but don't you think if animals could talk, and you were at a rodeo, that the bull might say something more along the lines of "Oh For The Love of God Get That Strap Off My Balls!" rather than, "I'm gonna give him the ride of his life." Indeed, I think most rodeo animals might be protesting rather loudly rather than helping a ragtag band of misfits tie them up and/or wrestle them to the ground. I'm just saying.
